I think that Shalit in chapter 2 addressed an interesting reflection about the question: What is the meaning of being a woman? She tried to find an explanation about the relationship between man and woman, and ask us: Why are the men too superficial in their relationships? In my opinion there is no simple answer to this kind of question. There are a lot of issues surrounding a relationship between man and woman. For example, cultural values in the society in which they belong to, family values, sexual orientation, changing values in the society, man’s maturity, woman’s maturity, man and woman’s life goals, and religion. So, as we can see it is not a simple analysis about the reasons why men are so cruel to hook up a girl and then dump her.
I think that sex is a serious decision in men and women’s lives. When one decides to have sex with someone he or she should know who his or her partner is. The first question that should be answered is: what do you expect from the relationship? If one wants just to have fun, then he or she should not be disappointed if he or she dumps you. However, if you are looking for a serious relationship, here are some ideas on how to minimize errors when choosing a partner. Try to find out more about your partner, his or her values, where he or she comes from, who his or her family is, what his or her life’s plans are. In other words, try to find out if you have something in common with him or her. When we are young we look for new experiences, curiosity, discovering new things and our sexual hormones levels are high. Consequently, we kind of take risks without thinking about what the consequences are going to be. We must acknowledge that the challenges that women face in life are more complicated than those that men do. A woman is more vulnerable because she can get pregnant, and if that happens and the man does not support her, she will have to raise a child on her own. But, I think that it is beautiful to be a woman, because they have the power of seduction, and to me it is good! A man without a woman is an incomplete person. I am not the kind of person who is afraid of having a daughter. By the way, I have a pretty and intelligent five-year old daughter. I disagree with Anne Roiphe when she says that when she saw that her child was a girl she said; “…have to tell her ah, what a terrible and painful process it is to be a woman…”. To be a woman is indeed a challenge, but as parents we must open a channel of communication with our child, and tell her about good and bad choices in life. Then if we understand what is happening in her moment of life we can give her guidance on how to choose the best path.
Jose Luis Iglesias
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
I feel like Shalit over generalizes about far too many things in this chapter. Although women do have rough lifes, men do too. Yes, they have to go through child birth and other cycles unlike men, but it does not mean that their lives are substantially more complicated or hard in today's world. In my opinion, Shalit is trying to portray that women are the only beings that can be hurt or feel pain and I feel like she is horribly wrong. Her description of the stages of a hook-up are not completely flawless. Although some may contain some truth she fails to mention or even hint at the fact that some guys are not as cold-hearted and all-to-blame as she makes it sound throughout the entirity of the chapter. Unfortunately, I am going to have to disagree with the statement that no man is complete with a woman or any such vice versa statement. Any individual can be complete without a companion based on their knowledge of themselves and what they are fulfilled by in life. I am not saying that I do not want to have a parter in my life, but I think generally it is possible for someone to be complete without a signifcant other. Shalit's conversation in the Post-Dumping Checkup section of the chapter really threw me for a loop as well. Based on this chapter I feel like she is fairly ignorant in her assumptions of what a conversation might entail. Maybe she has not been through many herself or just has bad experiences, but again she over generalizes quite drastically about how a conversation would go. The main thing that sums up my disagreement with the chapter is her concluding statement, "Yet the desire to avoid being a woman is a perfectly understandable impulse, given the obstacles that today's woman faces." If avoiding uncaring men and bad hook ups is the basis of that argument, then the world has a lot to worry about.
Sorry everyone.That last comment was posted by Brandon Kinlein.
I was kind of confused reading this chapter. Hook up points? What's that? Post-dumping checkup? Excuse me?
I certainly haven't ever made a list of points that needed to be matched in order to hook up with a woman. I find it hard to believe that anyone does that. If you like someone you like them, you don't sit around and go "Well she got 9 out of 15 points so that's not good enough!"...
A majority of my relationships have ended on less than amicable terms. Therefore I've never called a woman after a breakup has happened to just "check-up" on her. Shalit seems to treat this as an oil change or a dentist appointment. It's actually funny.
I thought it was strange she mentioned checking on a guy's post-dumping-checkup-intervals credentials before dating them. This is so silly to me I wonder if Shalit was trying to be humorous in this chapter.
-John Johnson
I am with you, John. When I was reading this chapter I was really confused by the term "hook-up point". My guess is that people have a list of points they are looking to match in a "hook-up"? That seems strange to me. I think a hook-up is a random act that is not planned most of the time, so what is with these prerequisite points she is talking about? Nobody does that.
The post-dumping-checkup-intervals also seem strange to me. I do not know many people who check a persons post-dumping credentials before starting a relationship. To me that seems like you are starting a relationship as a pessimist. Who worries about how a person will act after you break up before you are even dating? Weird.
I also agree with you Brandon, Shalit's assumptions of what a checkup conversation would entail are ignorant. I think the relationship between ex's is different for everyone, and if it is like she says, I do not think the male is the only one who should do this "checking up". If keeping a friendly relationship after a break up is what ex's choose to do, then checking up should come from both sides.
-Lindsey Winesburg
I think Shalit brings up a good point in the beginning of the chapter: has dating become obsolete? Are we devaluing sex for our instant gratifications? The majority of society probably isn’t like this. People who are looking for a real relationship take time to pursue a girl. And maybe the majority of the "hook-ups" are with the teen to college age group because they aren't looking for a serious relationship yet, but when that time comes I think they will revert back to dating.
Also, maybe society is that odd transition where guys still try to be “the guy” when it doesn't matter anymore. Guys are suppose to open the door for ladies, propose to the ladies, call the lady, be the one earning the most money in the household, etc...But now-a-days ladies don't really care if the men open the doors or not; some ladies do the proposing; some ladies don't wait for the call, they call first; and now there are quite a handful of stay-at-home-dads. So are we allowed to blame men if they don’t call? What if they are waiting for our call?
And I honestly don’t think my friends are going to look down on me if I am holding out for “the guy.” I think that’s perfectly normal and if I were Amy’s friend I would value and respect her morals or what she wants for herself.
Oh yeah, I liked what John and Lindsey brought up about the checking of their post-dumping-checkup credentials. Seriously, why go into the relationship thinking of breakup already??
Post a Comment