Shalit starts this chapter out strong with this: "A society that has declared war on embarrassment is one that is hostile to women." Wow. What is she saying here? Is she trying to say that only women are embarrassed and because of that men prey on them? This really threw me off.
Next she talks about rape. She mentions a survey among teenagers and throws out some really high percentages. I really find it hard to believe that so many teenagers thought it was ok to have non-concensual sex with a woman, no matter the scenario. Was I raised differently? I'm sure that as soon as I was able to speak I would have answered no to a question like that. She mentions date-rape as well. I'd have to agree that this is a problem. When I was younger and in college I knew guy's that thought this was ok to do, even normal.
Ok I have to comment on the pornography section. There's nothing wrong with a little porno! I can see how women get upset about this, but it really is just a fantasy. If a guy is taking it to far, or it becomes an addiction then yes, there's a problem. I always laugh when I hear guys say something like "Oh she found some porn and says I have to get rid of it or else." I also get a kick out of women that are upset about their s/o's going to a strip club. I bet 90% of guys NEVER act on any desire they feel in a strip club, or when watching porn. I am not shocked by seeing a stripper. I'm not embarrassed by it either. I'm really quite comfortable with it and don't see it as a cultural problem at all.
It's hard for me to comment on the "Girls who can't say no" section. I'm not a girl, and I've never said no. ZING! j/k! I really think it's sad that this section suggests that women cannot say no to sex. They give into it and then feel bad about it later. In my opinion if a women isn't capable of saying no, she shouldn't put herself in that position with a guy. I realize us guys are charming and crafty but if you don't want to have sex then how can you be talked into it? Seems that maybe some women DO want to have sex then just regret it later.
-John Johnson
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I think the guys perspective on this book is most definitely going to be different on this book than a girls, and for that reason I agree with everything you've said so far. The rape surveys she used as "factual information" were astonishingly high, but the survey was very vague. It was only a survey on teenagers from one state. How many teenagers? What age? Why only one state? It just seems like this survey would be completely inaccurate to cite and I found that to be fairly ridiculous myself.
I also found the section on 'Girls Who Can't Say No' to be fairly ridiculous as well. She uses songs from the late '40s and stories of girls that have extreme views. The girl that says,"Why not, since everyone seems to think you're a slut anyway, just prove them right?" when asked why she first had sex at age 13. I know people who are still virgins. They went through the exact same pressures. The further along I get in this book the more it seems to me like Shalit is attacking the fact that people have the right to make choices in their lives, most notably women.Everyone can make their own decisions about what to do in life. How can someone possibly attack the that persuasiveness from outside sources changes the fact that people can choose what to do everyday?I'm having a hard time understanding.
-Brandon Kinlein
Well after reading Brandon's comment...for me, I think she's attacking "what" choices we make and "why" we make them. what makes us want to make these decisions?
But anywho, I also found the stats in this chapter extremely high. I even re-read that paragraph to make sure I read that right...because I sure don't know any guys that thnk non-consensual sex is okay....when is any kind of rape okay!?
And about porno...I dunno, I don't like that industry, so not much I can say about prior relationship porn, but I think once you're in a relationship, men should not want to look at porn or need to. why do you want to live in a fantasy? maybe they don't act on that desire but if opportunity presents...would you?
I agree with you, John, it does seem like the women who "can't say no" really do want sex. Otherwise, why can't they say no?
I can agree a lot with what John and Brandon said. Girls have the choice to get drunk and make out with a guy etc. Girls place themselves in situations and they have the responsibility to handle themselves in the situations they get themselves into. I also think that guys have a responsibility to not take advantage of girls. Therefore, a girl should be able to say no and a guy should listen.
For the issue with porn, I feel that it's not that big of a deal, if people know limits. A guy should never pressure a girl to do something he saw in a porno, hence the idea that it's just a fantasy. I think the major issue a lot of girls have with porn, is that their afriad that the guy doesn't find them attractive or sexy and that that is why they look at porn. Communication is key, in my opinion on this issue. If both parities understand eachother, there shouldn't be any problems.
Kristine Jansen
Post a Comment