Chapter 12 Beyond Modernity

In chapter twelve Shalit discusses if women should be independent or dependent of someone. She pictures women’s image as they all are dependent on someone or something. She argues that women should be competitive to survive or as a self defense, and that they should not pay too much attention to what “our parents’ generation tell us” about “motherhood revolution.” In my opinion women today is more independent as a life’s choice. As a choice a woman can decide to raise her family and take care of her husband. What is problem in pursuing this life? When a woman decides to marry someone she knows what a life with kids and husband is going to be, or at least she has an idea of what is waiting for her. As a married person, I must say that the most difficult experience is to give up some of my independence or my own life priorities as I think of my wife’s and daughter’s well being. At the end I am happy because I am not alone in the world, I have a friend, partner and wife, and I also have my dream that come true: my daughter. So, I have to conclude that we are never going to have everything that we desire in life, but we should try to have what is considered a priority in order to be happy.
Another discussion is about the influence of religion on women modesty. I agree with Shalit’s idea that the society or the culture in which we are immersed plays a fundamental rule in our own beliefs and behavior as she says: “…most people have ended up letting the culture they live in dictate their choices. I suppose this isn’t an intrinsically bad thing-it just seems to be the way we are made.” In fact, our modesty is molded by our own beliefs, and our own beliefs are molded by the societal or religious group which we belong.
Regarding her discussion about cultural values, I think that cultural values can provide guidance on how we should dress up. I agree with the idea that we can be more sexy or conservative depending the way we dress. However, I believe that some religious culture uses the way to dress and virginity as a repression of sexual desire among man and woman. I don’t think that preserving virginity can contribute to a healthy relationship.
Jose Luis Iglesias

Chapter 11 Guided Blog

"I feel as though premarital sex makes woman lose a since of their virtues but not their ability to be modest. Does premarital sex make females have less or more modesty?"

I don't think that premarital sex necessarily makes a woman lose a sense of their virtues. I think that woman and men alike can take part in premarital sex and know where they want to go in life and still have goals and values. It affects different people in different ways and the only way to really truly understand its affect is by talking to the individual who took part in the act. I think when it comes to modesty the same is to be said. A woman or man controls if it affects their modesty. Some girls may be very sexually active before marriage and let that affect how they dress and how they act around towards men sexually, while others may not let it substantially change their opinions on how modest or immodest they are.

-Brandon Kinlein

Chapter 10: Modesty and the Erotic

In this chapter Shalit talks about reputation and how we do anything to appear normal. I agree with her claim that having sexual experience makes you normal. Today people try to make others believe they are sexually experienced for fear of being known as inexperienced. Why does it matter what other people think? Whose business is it anyway? This reminds me of high school where reputation is everything. The experienced girls were considered 'hot' while the girls who kept quiet about sex or didn't have it at all were 'goody-goodies'. My question is; why is promiscuity attractive to some men? I don't think that it is wrong but I believe being modest is more attractive and exciting. In my experience, playing hard to get is more fun. It keeps people interested and is a challenge. I'm not saying women should play games, but doesn't easy get boring? Although society causes girls to flaunt their sexual experience, I think classy is the new slutty.

-Lindsey Winesburg

Chapter 9: Against the Curing of Womanhood

In this chapter, Shalit is addressing how society is curing woman of rejection sensitivity and feelings. Being "intense" has become something bad and unacceptable. In the last paragraph, Shalit states that "Maybe wanting to forge bonds with others is normal, and it's cutting ourselves off from enduring attachments that is perverse...Incidentally, if you're not sensitive to rejection, doesn't that also mean you're indifferent to love?"

I think I agree with her. If one loves, it's supposed to be forever, and avoiding this feeling is abnormal. But what if this feeling of love is so deep that when the other breaks away, you can't do anything but take Prozac? Suppressing this love maybe wrong, but what if there is no way out of this rut? What can you do?

-Joy Jen